Dear Lovestar,
I loved my last post, “The formula for deep connection,” and I was so grateful to provide substance to you, the reader. I would love to become a match for such inspiration again. Don’t worry, I’ll still write about the twin flame journey and union, which is my experience, and I’m not about to stop writing poems. However, we all need basic love and relationship advice here and there. This time, I’ll offer even more basic advice.
Speaking of love… Before we can manifest total Union, we have to be in union, but before that, we must have a deep connection. Prior to a deep connection, we need to have a connection to deepen, but before that, we have to have a relationship.
As I have said before, there are levels to union, there are levels to connections, and there are levels to relationships. Would you like to level up your love life? I have a simple tip that is sure to work with anyone who is not a narcissist or a psychopath.
The game of love ❤️ 😍 💖
I chose to look at life like a video game. That seems quite detached. Yes, it is. It works for me. It helps me not feel the pain, and I can feel lots of pain (not physical). Better is always the goal. I would not tell you to do the same, and I do need some therapy. For now, writing and journaling are my therapy. FYI, I don’t play nor like video games.
I decided to look at love like a video game, too. In a video game, you are kind of detached because you’re not afraid of the outcome. It’s, after all, a game. In love, it’s not helpful to get too attached to the outcome, especially for women, because we’re very curious about our partner, we think too much, and we can become so obsessed we can drive ourselves crazy.
The outcome of a relationship is affected negatively by jealousy. The outcome of a relationship is affected positively by trust, love, kindness, etc. So I realized that being in my head about my new relationship when I was messed up (deep traumas surrounding men and relationships) was hurting my relationship. It wasn’t until I became detached from the outcome of my relationship that it became an union.
This is not advice for you. It was a defense mechanism in me for my survival. But it was helpful for me since I had a jealous thing going on to learn some detachment in my relationship after the worst of my dark night of the soul was over. I feared that my partner would leave me. After I drove myself crazy with my insecurities, I decided I would be OK either way, no matter what happened, just like in a video game. I literally convinced myself that I would be just as good if he left me heartbroken. Then, I became a match for union. It was a very interesting thing.
Note: My partner (who I now call my beloved and my twin flame) loves me, and he has a secure attachment style. He was healthy and safe. He was always trying to make it work with me even when I was giving him a taste of my crazy. It’s very safe to experiment with him. It’s not safe to experiment with any man. (Read my previous post, the formula for deep connection, and learn that a deep connection is only achieved with the right man).
Earning and losing points
Before I started my spiritual journey and started calling my lover twin flame, I had a sudden realization (I’ve been like this my entire life). I realized that in love, like a game, there is a point system. We gain points when we pour into our partner’s love cup, and we lose love points by breaking a boundary, being disrespectful, etc.
My realization was that the gaining vs. losing of love points makes the relationship positive or toxic. I realized this early in our relationship while we were both losing points and inevitably feeling less love for each other. I’ll tell you a secret: there was a time when we barely had any sex compared to our honeymoon stage or today. We were losing each other, and I firmly believe it was my personal healing that brought us back online and stronger than ever!
Back then, I thought that if I could tally all my love points, I could predict if the relationship would be a success or if we were going to break up. I didn’t keep a tally. That would be ridiculous and petty. But the tally is kept energetically! We feel love when our cup is full, and we feel depleted when our cup is getting empty. Similarly, one person alone filling the other’s cup is draining. One person filling their cup with their partner’s cup is abuse, and not pouring into your partner’s cup is neglect.
Leveling up
I’m guessing all games have levels, and guess what else has levels? Love is a level based game. I am not disrespecting love by saying it’s a game. It’s just the way I started seeing love in a better way. Before this, I thought love was a big fat lie! I figured I could level up my love life just like I could level up in a game. I didn’t know how to do it. That was maybe my union spirit guide. I would like to call him my friend, but he said we’re not friends, he is a guide, I am his student… Back to my point, I’m sure my spirit guide dropped that awareness in my head while I was still very dense. This has happened over and over again.
I have talked about some love levels, and I can feel a new topic being born. Most of us meet a total stranger and start from that level, moving up through perhaps friendship, courting, dating, entering a relationship, falling in love, creating a connection, deepening the connection, being in union and then deepening the union until total Union is reached.
We can discuss these levels, but a lot of effort and time are required to manifest the union stage, and most relationships will never reach this stage. I will take a screenshot of these stages to see what I can figure out about how to level up. 😅
Mastering the game
I have realized that love is a game that will not be mastered in this lifetime. And I choose to be okay with that statement. It is a choice that is empowering to me. This might sound cheesy, but in the love game, it is the everyday work and not the destination that counts.
Love is not of this world, I feel. As Lovestars, stars for love, we’re downloading a new template of love and replacing the old broken ways of loving on Earth. It is honorable work, and it feels so good. We are upgrading and ascending love on Earth. We are way shoers in the love arena. We are the good love example we didn’t have. We are good for the planet. Let’s love with light.
The mastery then should be mastering the art of downloading new ways to love and connect from the spiritual realms where love comes from. This is, in my view, the art of upgrading love on the planet.
We need to upgrade love on the planet because the love patterns we’re learning and many of the love patterns we inherited are essentially toxic. Love here is broken. I don’t see love as an old-fashioned thing because I believe there has never been true love except love is in the pregnancy stage waiting to be born (we are manifesting it).
I see love as a deep desire to feel the way we felt on the other side of life, the spiritual realms. True Love is then something new we’re manifesting into existence. This is what I advocate for. A new world in and of love. There would be no wars, suffering, abuse, etc, if we could all love, but any shift towards a more loving world will make the world a better place. I’ll start today. Will you join me?
The love advice I promised
For the best, most healing connection, both partners should pour into each other’s cups. However, it would be so weird to request that love be poured into one’s cup. My advice is as much as possible, pour love into your partner’s cup. Don’t expect them to pour back in the same way or at the same time.
Communicate your needs. For example, I have finally taught my partner how to speak to me in a way that makes me want to connect deeply. It wasn’t easy because I didn’t want to speak and he can only read my mind when I’m thinking about sex… I already taught him how to kiss me 😆 🤣 😂 and it’s great because he would not have known what I wanted and he taught me plenty of tricks for how to touch him actually, so he has no idea that he’s “in trouble” because now I’ll ask how he wants to be treated and talked to.
How do I pour love into my man’s cup? I’ll name a few things I do currently:
- I listen to him
- I compliment him and tell him nice things about himself
- As much as possible, I share my gratitude. Lately, more than before
- I look at him, and I smile
- I’m very open with him, and I learned to be honest to talk with him in the vulnerable way he likes to communicate
- I spend time doing things with him or doing nothing but together in the same space
- I write him poems so he can understand how I feel, and he appreciates them. Of course I asked if he appreciated my poetry
- I want to have sex with him, and I enjoy it, which clearly has deepened our bond
- I let him teach me what he likes. Obviously. Read my formula for a deep connection post. It’s something new between him and I.
- I text him, and I send him lots of sexy texts, of course
- I make the food that he likes the most
- I massage him when he hurts, but I’ll probably start doing it just because I love to touch his skin
- I think great thoughts about him
- I touch him, and we cuddle
And more. These are things I just thought of. It’s important to note that I’ve not always been this way, but as I healed, became spiritual, connected with God and my femininity, and shed my feminism, doing these things became natural. I didn’t cook for him when I was a feminist. Note that there are still traces of my feminism hurting me. For example, I hate to clean because it’s the old wife way to be while the old husband is out cheating… I have more work to do on myself, but I’ll do it in the safety of my beloved’s arms.
Thank you very much for reading, I appreciate you.
Books can be written on this topic, and there’s too much to say. I would love if someone asked questions in the comments that would prompt more helpful and action oriented posts.
With love and light,
Eve, writing too many posts at once and more good ones are coming
Lovestar Temple🔥 🔥 