Dear diary,
This post is to continue the sex secrets I started on the last post. No shame sex tips at the end. Let me know what you think

Dear diary,
This post is to continue the sex secrets I started on the last post. No shame sex tips at the end. Let me know what you think

Dear diary,
Note: I write about evolved Scorpios, and if I ever write about a dark Scorpio (I know one of these, he’s my uncle), it’ll be obvious.
I am so grateful to have a Scorpio as my beloved because he tells me the truth and nothing but the truth! I love the truth so much! In the presence of the truth, I smile (as long as it’s not a sad truth, I’m very comfortable crying in that case) but I have learned to not get angry at truths that sting.
(more…)Dear Lovestar,
I am doing something new (I am constantly looking for new thoughts or new things to do by the way). I am writing a Spanish post where I am sharing my Spanish poetry. Now I will share the things I discovered about the compartmentalization of my Spanish – English conversation of Love.
Background information: I am Cuban and lived there for the first 18 years of my life (Funny that this year marks my 18 years in USA, and I should probably write about it before my 19 years). When I moved to the USA as an 18-year-old, I immediately started learning English (it was my beloved, an American man who would finish “teach me” English). As I started speaking in English and especially when I moved in with the hot American and my conversations with him were always in English, I also started thinking in English. I never expected that to happen, and I would like to know what other bilingual people think about this.
The reason I started thinking in English was because when I was first learning English, I would think in Spanish, then had to translate that thought to English, also in my head, and there would be a delay in any conversation for me to figure out the next thing to say. Eventually, I started thinking in English and it saved me time to not have to translate in my head and also, I had adapted to the American way of speaking, translating doesn’t feel original. Now the opposite happens when I speak Spanish, I am thinking in English, and I have to translate, and this is difficult because there are words and idioms that have no translation.
Something new happened when I was flying to my mom’s house for the Thanksgiving holiday, I started thinking in Spanish. I notice and celebrate a new thought or a new discovery of myself, I cherished the moment, and I started writing poems in Spanish. After having several Spanish poems, I decided I would share them here and maybe find bilingual readers who are lovers like myself.
Before I started blogging here, I used to try to translate my English poetry to Spanish. I learned that translated poetry is not the same, and translating poetry is very hard. I might be wrong, and I only speak two languages, but I believe there is a bigger interest in poetry and especially romantic poetry within Spanish communities and, I mean no offense but the best poetry I know have been written in Spanish. We have excellent poets like Neruda, Benedetti, and Jose Marti who have influenced me big time. I have been into poetry since childhood, then as a fan of those great, typically male poets. I recited a Jose Marti poem (“La bailarina Espanola”: The Spanish dancer) for years. I was the romanticized experience of watching the Spanish dancer dance the fabulous Flamenco with an anti-Spain sentiment because it was a time of Spanish invasion in Cuba (FYI my first big idea of a job was a Flamenco dancer and Jose Marti was born in Cuba and was the son of a Spanish couple, he would die in battle against Spain).
With such a rich poetry background and such a romantic bleeding heart, it’s no wonder I turned out how I did, also because a divine lover was fated. When I started writing poetry, I aspired to become the female Neruda of the present writing in English as his poetry feeds the soul and I should write about the poetry that influenced me, Shouldn’t I? I channel those great poets, but my art comes out from the feminine which has been sleeping for a while, but we are waking her up. She is coming up strong after her beauty sleep. I know there have been female poets, simply far less and I am here to represent.
What I learned analyzing my recent Spanish poetry was that they have a different flavor than my current English poetry and this long post is me trying to explain why. I have been thinking in English for the last 16 years and during those years there have been a lot of changes in my life and within me: falling deeply in love, having 5 children, several dark nights of the soul, self-discovery, the awakening of my divine feminine, the birth of my authenticity, self-growth, writing success (I said so), the birth of my spirituality, finding union, having certain mysterious conversations with unseen beings…
In short, the last 18 years have been of enriching my life, learning about myself, and learning to deeply connect. The previous 18 years were important too and were rich in their own way. The first 18 years of my life, in Cuba, I now see as the unconscious/ subconscious parts of me. Not at all do I look down on my experiences in Cuba thought it rained inside my house, lived in the control of communism, and I didn’t learn love.
As I said, my poetry is my poetic influence from childhood mixed with my own feelings. n top of my poetry, my arts and crafts are also influences from my childhood, so is my writing, my faith, my love for God, my faith, and much more. A big part of me, my inability to accept poor leadership which manifests as a rebelliousness is Cuban (from my family being persecuted by the demonic communists and me getting it big time in the communist schools too). The basics of me is my Cuban upbringing, my upgrades are my American influences of Love which awakened my inner connection to God which was always there from Cuba. I have finally understood that many of these Cuban things are things which I brought to this world with me, inner gifts.
My Spanish poetry speaks of missing my beloved. To be fair, at the time of writing the poetry on my flight, I was flying away from my beloved and missed him, but I had started writing them during my last night with him and this is what I mostly write in Spanish. My Spanish poetry speaks of wishes of love, wishing to be loved, dating, expressing desire, wishing for reunion, deep feelings that I am discovering.
My Spanish poetry is written as if I was a 20-year-old, still learning who I am and what is deserving of love in me. My Spanish poetry is a bit insecure, to be honest and might lack the wisdom I have learned to channel in my English poetry with maturity and spirituality. My Spanish poetry talks of the beginning stages of a relationship while my English poetry has gotten deeper as I matured. I used to talk about developing a relationship and being in love and today, I write about Union.
I spoke of the compartmentalization (and I did have to learn to spell the word) of my English vs Spanish conversation, especially in Love and poetry but now, I realized this is with everything. Parallel to my learning/ thinking in English was my falling in love with my twin flame which triggered healing and a spiritual awakening, and my English discourse developed with my consciousness. As I learned things about myself, I learned them, talked to my lover about them, wrote about them, and contemplated them in English, never really in Spanish. As a result, my Spanish discourse didn’t develop the same way. Only now do I see this as compartmentalization.
Compartmentalization has a negative connotation. I learned this when I looked the word up (researching for this not post, but rather article). And this is the missing piece of this let me call it entry of my journal. I do not know how this entry will end, this is automatic writing, trying to figure things out about myself to heal and become a better me who is an even better match for union and a better mother, and finally to be much more on my mission on Earth. My intention is to open the closed parts of me and let at least a stream of unconsciousness through and then decode it/ translate it through my mindless writing so I can understand the secret part of me which still guides me. It’s a skill and a very helpful one.
Compartmentalization (by now I can spell the word without autocorrect) is seen as being related to trauma, not surprised at all): Compartmentalization is a defense mechanism in which people mentally separate conflicting thoughts, emotions, or experiences to avoid the discomfort of contradiction. This definition is from Psychology today. This entry developed from me thinking of this word and then looking the meaning up to me connecting the dots to the realization of what always was obvious. The truth is that it was always difficult to speak of Love in Spanish. When I spoke/ thought in Spanish, I didn’t believe in Love. I thought love was a transaction where women accepted to give sex to men in exchange for men giving women attention. This was a trauma response because when I lived in Cuba, I never saw real love and I was missing a piece of the love puzzle, I didn’t know lovers could connect beyond sex and attention.
My contradiction was that as a romantic, bleeding heart, I didn’t believe in love and actually my heart had become damaged, and I was literally unable to love. However, though me came a great love and a great expectation of a deep connection with a male. The contradiction is that even though in my English vocabulary there are words like union and connection, and I can perfectly explain love and my feelings, in Spanish it’s not the same. I just remember another thing when it comes to my languages, I have never sworn in Spanish, was taught by my parents and I never started, so I don’t. Now, I think that swearing is ugly and unnecessary so I rather not, but I have sworn in English.
I will speak and write more in Spanish and when I do, I will be more authentic rather than trying to fit in with my parents for example. My parents are old school and no open-minded idea of mine will be accepted but I can influence in non-verbal ways too. I can talk to my sister in Spanish. I can finally teach my children Spanish. I can create Spanish writing prompts. I am starting to be conscious of the fact that upgrading my Spanish discourse will help me in some way.
I am not sure how to finish this, but I have written enough,
With warm hugs,
Eve
TRIGGER ALERT!!! This post could trigger sexual trauma and open unhealed wounds. I intend this brings you. healing. If you are aware of unhealed sexual trauma, don’t read this, instead message me through the Contact tool under Menu.
“Fake it till you make it”
Obviously, when we fake it, we are not being vulnerable, we’re not honestly showing our struggle, or we don’t know how to show our learning progress. Perhaps we feel embarrassed and though we don’t talk about this, there’s a fake element to faking it.
Some would fake it to appear smarter, more able to learn or perform, to appear “better” than they feel they are. This, I believe, stems from feeling inadequate, insecure, or not enough. This is, in my humble opinion, putting on a false mask that makes you appear able to do what you’re faking while buying you time to learn at a slower pace.
The point we miss is that we’re all different and learning is a process. It’s obviously not only ok but expected to not know what you’re learning on day 1. There’s studying and practicing before we’re successful in whatever we’re learning and this includes sex. We will not be a sex god or goddess on day 1! Nor should we be.
We fake it when we pretend to be enjoying ourselves during sex. We might act as if we had an orgasm, making the noises and movements that we believe we would make if we were having a real orgasm. We might vocalize, some might scream or say they’re having an orgasm like we see on the movies.
In pretending to be enjoying ourselves, our partner would falsely believe that they are more able than they are to basically get us off sexually. Typically, when our partner has an amazing time while we have sex, we feel great about ourselves and therefore our self esteem is heightened. When we fake it, our partner might think they’re able to give us an orgasm when in truth they’re unable to or we’re not able to have an orgasm ourselves regardless of their ability.
Typically and sadly, women fake orgasms. Nowadays, it’s well known that only a small percentage of women can actually achieve an orgasmic reaction to vaginal sex only. Many of us need much more than just vaginal sex to achieve it, some of us have never had one. Some of us, lucky ones, will find a special person later on who will be so incredible that we will finally reach the desired outcome.
When we fake it, we exaggerate these noises and movements and if we don’t know what an orgasm really feels like, we might look and/ or feel fake. Therefore many are aware that their partner can fake it or might doubt their partner’s overt reactions! Watch out because if you get caught faking it, this might cause your partner’s self esteem to drop as if they’re unable to bring you to the gates of heaven through that most elusive female orgasm and they might be able to give you one if they just knew what to give you and how.
I believe that some people might not even realize they are faking it, some people might think that they’re meant to make a bunch of noise or do certain things that might indicate they’re having a great time. It doesn’t help that porn is readily available for free and even movies paint a picture about sex that’s unreal, unnatural, and fake. It also doesn’t help that we’re exposed to that perversion of lovemaking early on. We seem to forget that is acting and obviously not real, and if we imitate it, we might not meet our expectations and/ or our partner’s expectations.
People imitate the actions of movie stars, who are clearly acting, and not having a real orgasm for several reasons. It might look sexy from the outside looking in but reminder!!! that’s not what sex is like. When we engage in sex, we’re in the inside experiencing, not on the outside looking in! When we experience, we are not making a show for outsiders who can’t feel the act and our partner can feel us so there’s no need to put on a show.
There’s probably many different reasons why people fake it. Certainly, a reason is we want to please our partner. We might feel that our partner wants the hot porn star, yet, in faking an orgasm, we’re not giving our partner the choice to please us. In truth, if our partner wants some hot movie star, then perhaps this is not the article for you, or if you’re in a soulmate or twin flame relationship, then perhaps you’re out of alignment, I’ve been there too! Finally, if you have been faking it, your partner might think it’s hot because it looks like a movie, yet they might be deprived of giving you the real experience.
I’ll be honest with you, I’ve never faked it! Ever. First of all, I don’t believe in giving a mediocre partner a sense that they are able to bring me to an orgasm! And you might guess that I have indeed had sex with a mediocre partner and it’s true, I’m in the process of forgiving myself. An orgasm is something that I’ve only been able to achieve with my beloved, the one I call my twin flame, my one true love. It’s not something a woman achieves with anyone.
Females rejoice! We really have it good in sex! We don’t have the pressure males have when it comes to having one massive orgasm where if they fail to have one, they’ll have the hated “blue balls”. The universe blessed us with the incredible ability to have multiple orgasms, even to enjoy orgasm after orgasm and feel like the sex act was one massive orgasm, we have the ability to orgasm from the beginning to the end of the sexual encounter. We’re the orgasm queens and goddesses on this planet. So first of all relax and have fun with this. It can be a project, a self growth goal, a quest even, or something like a new year resolution or goal.
But even if we’re unable to ask about what we need (I totally understand) there’s really no need to act as if we’re having an orgasm we’re not having and the joke is on us if we make our partner believe we love something we don’t even like and then we get that treatment daily! Instead start little by little indicating what you do love, whether it’s a kiss, a touch, a sight that is delightful. There’s always something truly pleasing if you are in a committed relationship. Our partners respond to what we love by paying close attention to our response and giving us more of what they believe we love and this is why you should not fake it if you want a truly enjoyable and healthy sex life.
So don’t fake it! If you can, speak up. If you can’t speak up, fantasize! It’s a simple way to manifest what you truly desire. Well, I came to realize after years of fantasizing, that fantasies are not private at all, fantasies are energy that gets shared, just like thoughts are. What you’re fantasizing about, those thoughts are interacting with your partner! Also because when you fantasize, you’re working yourself closer to the place you need to be to reach the desired orgasm. Personally, when I needed to warm up, I go to my special place (in my head) which is our first night together, the night I had my first orgasm, I call this my master fantasy.
My beloved is Scorpio and don’t fake it with Scorpio because not only is Scorpio more than able to “get you off” but they can feel you and when they figure out you have been faking it, they might feel betrayed. Don’t lie to Scorpio! They would question why you did it and they will wonder what else you have been faking. Additionally, they might feel as though you are fake or not trustworthy.
Spiritually speaking, and for those of us who believe in manifestation, it is possible that we’re manifesting what we don’t love most by faking an orgasm. We might be mistakenly manifesting not our highest and most rewarding sex life. Additionally, it feels that by faking it, we’re aligning to something that’s not our highest vibe. Perhaps, we have mistakenly calibrated to a lower vibe, perhaps we’ve even calibrated to some perverted porn vibe. And if any perverted vibes have entered our reality, it’s entirely possible that lower, even dark energies (even entities) are feeding off our sexual energy which feels to be our highest creation energy.
This is nothing to be feared and probably most of us have at some point picked up lower sex vibes. We could have picked up some lower sex vibes from friends, past lovers, abuse, trauma, karma, ancestral energy, curses, or by choosing/ accepting this energy by mistake. I understand, for some, this is crazy superstition but if you read this blog, does that resonate?
When we make love we are vulnerable and share ourselves completely with a willing and loving partner. This is the opposite of faking it. Sex can be faked but lovemaking is the real thing.
If you are lucky enough to have sex with your twin flame, don’t fake it! It is a great honor to actually engage in this way with your twin and don’t taint the energy with fake vibes! This might sound harsh but if you’re interested in having an honest relationship with your twin, then please engage with complete honesty. It could be considered running (and us twins don’t like that) from ourselves…
Respectfully and never in judgement,
with Love and light,
Eve
I am asking you kindly to please share your sexual traumas with me as I’ve been called very clearly to help the collective right now and I can’t ignore the collective trauma anymore! Please let me help you. I have been able to transmute my own sexual trauma and now I’m ready to give back.
I’m not asking for anything except that you let me help. What do I gain? Experience of course, I need to practice sharing my gifts and need to get comfortable. I’ve been able to do this dark healing work for myself but now I feel I’ll only feel successful by helping others.
In my dreams I’m a writer/ poet. I did not expect previously to spend so much time speaking and writing about sex, sexual trauma, and sexual healing! Truly, I was very triggered by this. I’ll not lie friend, as a Cuban girl, I’ve been sexually abused several times, I don’t even know how many times. But don’t feel bad for me for I’m healed (with the help of my beloved) and now I’m ready to help you and the collective.
Now it’s time for me to give back! And what keeps on coming through as part of my life purpose, though it has been so difficult to open up and share, is sex trauma healing. It helps that this is where I have most experience personally.
I feel I’m receiving spiritual downloads at all times and it’s easy for me to understand these extremely complex topics such as the darkness that comes with sexual abuse and what it does to our pain bodies and the sad part when we have to accept where we’re at. Understanding seems to be the first step to transmute the really dark energies that so hurt us in sexual energy. Forgiveness appears to be the real deal in healing our energy and I was born with that ability though it was so much harder to forgive myself than the abusers.
Write me through the contact option under the menu button of this blog or by emailing me at paperdollme@mail.com subject should be HELP and if possible reference this post so I’ll know what the help is about.
Additionally, let me know how you would like to connect regarding sexual healing. I’m not big on Facebook anymore, where do you create a group for safe group chats?
In the meantime, I’ve created a secret YouTube playlist to help. I need to create videos now.
Additionally, see my sex podcasts that might help:
https://anchor.fm/eve520/episodes/Twin-Flame-Sex–Ascension-in-Lovemaking-e1bmt20
https://anchor.fm/eve520/episodes/Supernatural-Twin-Flame-Love–Telepathy-e1boj34
With Love and healing light,
Your friend Eve

Dear friend,
I opened my heart to you when I admitted I had closed my heart up which left my heart chakra out of alignment and me 0feeling grumpy, moody, and awful. It’s a long story how this happened but miraculously, as things can happen on this universe, after I meditated, practiced gratitude, and admitted it/ talked about it, I started to feel a shift. Thanks for the ear! If you do want to know what happened and how this blockage manifested in my life, listen to my newest podcast which I will link on this post as soon as it’s finished
I decided to practice gratitude once more and I shall continue this at least until my baby is born for my heart’s sake and an easier birth experience for both me and my baby.
Listen to my latest podcast to know all the details. I talked about this for about 54 minutes:
This is such an excellent exercise and whenever I do it I notice how much really I have to be grateful for. Life Is Good Lovestars! This moment is blessed!
Much Love and many blessings to you,
Grateful you’re here!
Eve
I created a short video to talk about setting Intentions and not resolutions in the new year
Thanks for watching,
Eve
On this episode I’ll tell you about my experiences fighting and arguing with my twin flame. More than 90 percent of our fights could have been avoided if we talked through our issues openly. 95 to 99 percent of our fights are due to misunderstandings or applying the wrong meaning to what is said. On this episode I talk through this and I give some tips regarding opening the communication lines. Listen through the link.
This is my 12th podcast episode now, I officially love it! Follow to not miss any episodes. The topic of the podcast is twin flames so even if I’m talking about something seemingly unrelated at a specific time, it’s all related to Union.
Thanks for visiting and thank you for the work that you do!
With Love,
Eve