TRIGGER ALERT!!! This post could trigger sexual trauma and open unhealed wounds. I intend this brings you. healing. If you are aware of unhealed sexual trauma, don’t read this, instead message me through the Contact tool under Menu.
“Fake it till you make it”
Obviously, when we fake it, we are not being vulnerable, we’re not honestly showing our struggle, or we don’t know how to show our learning progress. Perhaps we feel embarrassed and though we don’t talk about this, there’s a fake element to faking it.
Some would fake it to appear smarter, more able to learn or perform, to appear “better” than they feel they are. This, I believe, stems from feeling inadequate, insecure, or not enough. This is, in my humble opinion, putting on a false mask that makes you appear able to do what you’re faking while buying you time to learn at a slower pace.
The point we miss is that we’re all different and learning is a process. It’s obviously not only ok but expected to not know what you’re learning on day 1. There’s studying and practicing before we’re successful in whatever we’re learning and this includes sex. We will not be a sex god or goddess on day 1! Nor should we be.
In sex, what does it mean to fake it?
We fake it when we pretend to be enjoying ourselves during sex. We might act as if we had an orgasm, making the noises and movements that we believe we would make if we were having a real orgasm. We might vocalize, some might scream or say they’re having an orgasm like we see on the movies.
In pretending to be enjoying ourselves, our partner would falsely believe that they are more able than they are to basically get us off sexually. Typically, when our partner has an amazing time while we have sex, we feel great about ourselves and therefore our self esteem is heightened. When we fake it, our partner might think they’re able to give us an orgasm when in truth they’re unable to or we’re not able to have an orgasm ourselves regardless of their ability.
Typically and sadly, women fake orgasms. Nowadays, it’s well known that only a small percentage of women can actually achieve an orgasmic reaction to vaginal sex only. Many of us need much more than just vaginal sex to achieve it, some of us have never had one. Some of us, lucky ones, will find a special person later on who will be so incredible that we will finally reach the desired outcome.
When we fake it, we exaggerate these noises and movements and if we don’t know what an orgasm really feels like, we might look and/ or feel fake. Therefore many are aware that their partner can fake it or might doubt their partner’s overt reactions! Watch out because if you get caught faking it, this might cause your partner’s self esteem to drop as if they’re unable to bring you to the gates of heaven through that most elusive female orgasm and they might be able to give you one if they just knew what to give you and how.
Why do we fake it?
I believe that some people might not even realize they are faking it, some people might think that they’re meant to make a bunch of noise or do certain things that might indicate they’re having a great time. It doesn’t help that porn is readily available for free and even movies paint a picture about sex that’s unreal, unnatural, and fake. It also doesn’t help that we’re exposed to that perversion of lovemaking early on. We seem to forget that is acting and obviously not real, and if we imitate it, we might not meet our expectations and/ or our partner’s expectations.
People imitate the actions of movie stars, who are clearly acting, and not having a real orgasm for several reasons. It might look sexy from the outside looking in but reminder!!! that’s not what sex is like. When we engage in sex, we’re in the inside experiencing, not on the outside looking in! When we experience, we are not making a show for outsiders who can’t feel the act and our partner can feel us so there’s no need to put on a show.
There’s probably many different reasons why people fake it. Certainly, a reason is we want to please our partner. We might feel that our partner wants the hot porn star, yet, in faking an orgasm, we’re not giving our partner the choice to please us. In truth, if our partner wants some hot movie star, then perhaps this is not the article for you, or if you’re in a soulmate or twin flame relationship, then perhaps you’re out of alignment, I’ve been there too! Finally, if you have been faking it, your partner might think it’s hot because it looks like a movie, yet they might be deprived of giving you the real experience.
I’ll be honest with you, I’ve never faked it! Ever. First of all, I don’t believe in giving a mediocre partner a sense that they are able to bring me to an orgasm! And you might guess that I have indeed had sex with a mediocre partner and it’s true, I’m in the process of forgiving myself. An orgasm is something that I’ve only been able to achieve with my beloved, the one I call my twin flame, my one true love. It’s not something a woman achieves with anyone.
Don’t Fake it. Instead do this.
Females rejoice! We really have it good in sex! We don’t have the pressure males have when it comes to having one massive orgasm where if they fail to have one, they’ll have the hated “blue balls”. The universe blessed us with the incredible ability to have multiple orgasms, even to enjoy orgasm after orgasm and feel like the sex act was one massive orgasm, we have the ability to orgasm from the beginning to the end of the sexual encounter. We’re the orgasm queens and goddesses on this planet. So first of all relax and have fun with this. It can be a project, a self growth goal, a quest even, or something like a new year resolution or goal.
But even if we’re unable to ask about what we need (I totally understand) there’s really no need to act as if we’re having an orgasm we’re not having and the joke is on us if we make our partner believe we love something we don’t even like and then we get that treatment daily! Instead start little by little indicating what you do love, whether it’s a kiss, a touch, a sight that is delightful. There’s always something truly pleasing if you are in a committed relationship. Our partners respond to what we love by paying close attention to our response and giving us more of what they believe we love and this is why you should not fake it if you want a truly enjoyable and healthy sex life.
So don’t fake it! If you can, speak up. If you can’t speak up, fantasize! It’s a simple way to manifest what you truly desire. Well, I came to realize after years of fantasizing, that fantasies are not private at all, fantasies are energy that gets shared, just like thoughts are. What you’re fantasizing about, those thoughts are interacting with your partner! Also because when you fantasize, you’re working yourself closer to the place you need to be to reach the desired orgasm. Personally, when I needed to warm up, I go to my special place (in my head) which is our first night together, the night I had my first orgasm, I call this my master fantasy.
What to do instead of faking it. Tips and tricks.
- Relax and have fun
- Be honest and vulnerable
- Don’t make them think you love something you don’t love
- Fantasize about what you want in bed
- Create a master fantasy (for me it’s my first night with my beloved)
- Respond to what you love in the natural way your body responds
- Don’t block the natural response: scream or moan if you feel you should, be quiet if that’s more natural. If you’re having a full on body response and start shaking uncontrollably, let that be, and if your body tenses up, then allow that too. If you can speak, say their name or the expression that comes most naturally, and if it’s not possible to say anything, don’t force it. There’s no one size fits all.
- Don’t watch porn or movies about sex to learn. No judgement if you do or have but figure out your own personal response rather than imitating acting from a movie.
- Take charge and do what you love most
- Experiment! You might enjoy even some things you thought you didn’t like
The spiritual significance of faking it
My beloved is Scorpio and don’t fake it with Scorpio because not only is Scorpio more than able to “get you off” but they can feel you and when they figure out you have been faking it, they might feel betrayed. Don’t lie to Scorpio! They would question why you did it and they will wonder what else you have been faking. Additionally, they might feel as though you are fake or not trustworthy.
Spiritually speaking, and for those of us who believe in manifestation, it is possible that we’re manifesting what we don’t love most by faking an orgasm. We might be mistakenly manifesting not our highest and most rewarding sex life. Additionally, it feels that by faking it, we’re aligning to something that’s not our highest vibe. Perhaps, we have mistakenly calibrated to a lower vibe, perhaps we’ve even calibrated to some perverted porn vibe. And if any perverted vibes have entered our reality, it’s entirely possible that lower, even dark energies (even entities) are feeding off our sexual energy which feels to be our highest creation energy.
This is nothing to be feared and probably most of us have at some point picked up lower sex vibes. We could have picked up some lower sex vibes from friends, past lovers, abuse, trauma, karma, ancestral energy, curses, or by choosing/ accepting this energy by mistake. I understand, for some, this is crazy superstition but if you read this blog, does that resonate?
Is it making love if I fake it?
When we make love we are vulnerable and share ourselves completely with a willing and loving partner. This is the opposite of faking it. Sex can be faked but lovemaking is the real thing.
If you’re lucky enough to have sex with your twin flame, don’t fake it.
If you are lucky enough to have sex with your twin flame, don’t fake it! It is a great honor to actually engage in this way with your twin and don’t taint the energy with fake vibes! This might sound harsh but if you’re interested in having an honest relationship with your twin, then please engage with complete honesty. It could be considered running (and us twins don’t like that) from ourselves…
Respectfully and never in judgement,
with Love and light,
Eve
Lovestar Templeš„ š„ 