Hi Lovestar,
If you’re tired of Valentine’s content, no worries, it’s about to be over this week, which means we’re on the final and most intense Valentine’s Day explosion of content. I will plan Valentine’s content for next year and years to come much more carefully.
This is meant to be a fun and lighthearted post with my sprinkle of sexy poetry on it!
Lame things people say on Valentine’s cards and my reactions:
Don’t be one of the weirdos who say:
- “Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m terrible at poetry, but I love you. (Nothing starting with Roses are red should go on a Valentine’s card…) but if lame poems are ok with you, check out my 10 Roses are red poems below…
- I ā¤ļø U (ok, what genius did you copy for this, an elementary school lover?)
- “I love you more than pizza… and that’s saying something.” (I’d dump a dummie who compared me to pizza…)
- Let’s get married! (I’m bored)
- “You’re the peanut butter to my jelly, the cheese to my macaroni, and the love of my life.” (Probably too fat for my liking)
- You’re the woman of my life (very unoriginal, let’s change the channel)
- “I’d give you the last slice of cake… maybe.” (Too selfish for me, I’ll return this card, save your money next year, or you will not have me as your girlfriend next year!)
- I don’t know what to say, so here is some money (oh, trying to buy me, I’ll find another man… in secret)
- “My love for you is like a candle… it’s hot and melts away quickly.” (Sex with this one probably is short-lived, too)
- Today is Valentines Day. What men call extortion day (minus 1 000 000 points for romance, but this would be said by a guy with no game within the sheets) women only want money if he’s no good in bed…
- “You’re sweeter than a box of chocolates… and way less fattening.” (Thinks too much)
- If I had feelings, I would have them for you (I would be depressed if I got this card… if narcissists were honest…)
- “I love you even though you leave your socks on the floor.” (Below the belt, has no idea of divine timing)
- You suck less than most people (is this referring to oral? I’d give him a mouth massage and teach him a new way to kiss), but I’d never receive this card…
- “You’re the reason I check my phone every five minutes.” (You need therapy)
- You are my favorite husband (this is a terrible, horrible wife who is projecting on her husband and will get divorced)
- “I promise to always tolerate your terrible puns.” (You are no fun at all, I’ll save my jokes)
- You’re the only one I answer the phone for (means I have nobody else to trust or nobody to be there for me, nobody cares about me… you would have to deal with šÆ percent of my drama.
- “You’re my favorite notification to receive.” (You are boring and they do all the work)
Eve’s roses are red poems 10X. Lame but hilarious š š š š š¤£ š
Since lame is in the name of this post, I’ll give you a lame but hilarious (and sexy poem). Hilarious š I dare you to dedicate it… that would be what my Valentine’s card to Scorpio would say if I was lame.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You please me in bed
That's why I am with you
Or what about this š š¤£ š
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Before I was lame
But now I am with you!
Awww…
Roses are red
Violets are blue.
If I chose again,
Again I'd choose you!
I could change this, but I’m most amused right now:
Roses are red
Violets are blue
On Valentine's Day
I want to be with you!
Mine should totally say this:
Roses are red
Violets are blue.
I suck in bed
Good thing I have you!
What the heck…
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I am a mess
When I'm not with you!
If I were a Leo, I’d say this
Roses are red
Violets are blue.
Im hot as hell
Better with you!
If I were a Scorpio, I’d say this! They would be brave enough to swear on their card… my partner would not give me a Valentine’s card but if he did, it should say this: lol
Roses, still sad
Violets of gloom
When I see your a*s
I feel less like doom.
If I was a Sagittarius, I’d say this:
Roses are red
The color of my bed.
Violets are blue
Now let's undress you!
If I were a Pisces, I’d say this:
Hello, my name is Pisces and I am a happy go lucky mermaid
Roses are red
For you, my heart bled.
Violets are blue
Because my love is true.
I might be complex
Lile the Daisy flower.
My petals are white
I am the softest lover.
My core is yellow
And I'm soft like jello.
I give you my love
Im not selfish nor jealous.
And I'll give you my body
Without pride or ego.
Ok that was a good piece to end this fun word play game. Of course, I’m Pisces. This was most fun! Good thing I’m not a Scorpio (or a Leo) no offense, I’m just better as a Pisces! And Scorpio likes me very Pisces, thank you God š āŗļø š for my Pisces nature otherwise, who would write these cheesy poetry?
I pray you enjoyed this.
Of course, skip all this silliness and download one or many of my Valentine’s E-cards. They’re totally free and without my pen name, perfect to share:
Or copy one of my love or sex cards or one of the other cards of topics too hot to handle on this lame blog. Visit my poetry collection and copy your favorite. No, these lame poetry are not going to my poetry collection! š Poetry collection through this link:
With much love and light,
Eve, laughing out loud š š š¤£
Lovestar Templeš„ š„ 