Great sex. The secret to a long lasting relationship?

Trigger alert ⚠️  I talk about sex, lovemaking, and long relationships here. Read only if these topics will not trigger an unwanted response in you. Thank you.

Dear friends,

Since I’ve been reunited with my beloved, lovemaking has been a dream. We have been under a spell of attraction, and we’re loving every second of it. If cameras started rolling and a movie was made of our lives, it would be a sexy romance. We were separated not because we wanted to but for work and family travel.

Today, a thought occurred to me. Is good sex or lovemaking the secret to a long-lasting relationship?

I was deep in thought, figuring out if lovemaking creates a lasting relationship. A long relationship would not be as fulfilling if the sex was not good for most couples (this post is very basic and does not cover sexless unions, which I know exist, but I’m not an expert in)

Great sex will cause this in your relationship

• The better the sex, the least likely a couple is to cheat because we’re less likely to get bored.
• Having great sex as their fun secret, a couple is likely to feel fun and relaxed to others and, therefore, be magnetic.
• People who have great sex are likely to have high self steem since their bodies are the object of much pleasure to their partners. And people who have high self steem are likely to have more sex. It’s a sexy cycle.
• Couples who have great sex are likely to have much more of it than couples who have less than the greatest sex.
• People who have great sex give each other orgasms and regular orgasms might make the couples more relaxed and laid back.
• People who have great sex might be in touch with their internal world due to heightened daydreaming and fantasizing.
• Great sex will make you closer as a couple.
• Couples who have great sex are probably much more open and honest when talking to each other since they’re very open and vulnerable with their bodies.
• Couples who have great, regular sex might hold hands, hug, touch, look each other in the eyes, and smile at each other more often because they’re comfortable in their skin and comfortable sharing with their partner, and they crave their partner’s touch.
• Please let me know in the comments what great sex causes in couples.

But will great sex cause a relationship to be long-lasting? To extend a relationship that without great sex might break up? Or could two people who are not right for each other stay together due to great sex?

What is great sex? Great sex is sex you feel lucky to have had. Sex you don’t regret. Sex you look forward to having again. Sex you feel lucky to have in your life. Sex that you remember with a warm smile. 😏 Sex that brings about much pleasure and makes your day better. Sex that results in 2+ orgasms. Sex that you never want to say no to. Sex that relaxes. Sex that makes you closer as a couple. Sex that you dream, daydream, and fantasize about. Conscious sex.

I don’t think great sex alone should extend a relationship that is meant to end. Also, people don’t only cheat because their sex life is lacking. They also cheat looking for emotional connection and support. I believe everyone should consider all aspects of their relationship when deciding to stay with someone or end a relationship.

There might be couples who have great sex and are not meant to be with each other. But they might not be as happy. There are many reasons to break up with a person, and I don’t think they should be ignored due to the great sex. People might feel afraid to leave a partner they have great sex with and be left with something worse. Yet again, nobody is perfect, and we should be patient (my lover was very patient with me).

My personal experience

Many years ago, before I started calling my partner beloved and started seeing our connection as God sent, we already had great sex. And I remember being quite bothered by our great sex. I wondered if the amazing sex was the best of our relationship because we were going through a rough patch.

Not that I thought the great sex was a bad thing, I wondered if there was nothing deeper. What would keep us together once the sex is gone? Obviously, I craved the closeness that would be in our future, our now present.

It’s possible my partner would have dumped me if the sex wasn’t great from the beginning. He is Scorpio, a very passionate lover, and he connects through sex. Without great sex, there is no connection. In fact, our dating would not probably have turned into a relationship if our sex wasn’t mind-blowing.

However, I thought we would break up because we were not as connected, and that is what I was after. So, both partners might feel differently, and it depends on how high the partners value sex. It depends on the people within the union whether or not to stay together. A partner might value physical connection more, and another partner might value an emotional connection. The partner who values emotional connection might be OK having less than great sex but the person who values physical intimacy would not settle for an emotional connection that lacks in the bedroom department.

Time to take great sex more seriously

In my unpacking the question of whether or not great sex extends the life of relationships, one thing I realized is, of course, it does. But more importantly, great sex should be taken more seriously as part of the foundation of a relationship. Later, we will get old, and we can revisit this topic, but while young and energetic, we can enjoy this gift.

I think great sex is an excellent tool to become more connected with our partner. And we should limit sex with not worthy partners because it can become addicting.

I will encourage all committed relationships who are not already taking advantage of the power of connecting through sex to start taking steps to a better sex life. There is always another deeper level of connection, and what more connected state of being than making love with your partner? Open up lovers to the power of conscious sex.

With much Love and respect,

Eve